About Kellie

There was a night, years ago now, when I sat on my bathroom floor at 3am because it was the only room in the house where I couldn’t hear my own thoughts echo. I’d checked his phone. I’d read the same three texts over and over looking for a meaning that wasn’t there. I told myself I wasn’t the kind of woman this happened to … I was.

If you’re reading this because you’ve had your own version of that night, I want you to know something before anything else. You’re not weak, and you’re not broken. You’re just in it.  I don’t promise much, but I do promise that this feeling does end, even when it feels like it won’t.

I’m Kel. Most people know me these days as The Ultimate Breakup Coach, which still makes me laugh a little, because I didn’t choose this the way you normally choose a career. It chose me, the hard way, through my own heartbreak and every mistake I made trying to fix it before I actually understood it.

I spent years getting it wrong. Going back when I knew better. Making excuses for people who weren’t making any effort to deserve them. Confusing intensity for love, and silence for peace when it was actually just numbness. I had to unlearn almost everything I thought I knew about relationships before I could build something better, both for myself and, eventually, for the people I now coach.

I would look back, and wish I had someone who could have told me the truth, and the way out, when I was in the thick of it … So I decided to be that person for others.

That’s what makes this different from advice you’ll find elsewhere. I’m not reciting theory at you from behind a desk. Everything I teach, I’ve tested on my own life first, usually the hard way.

These days that looks like books that people tell me they’ve read three times because they underline something new each time. It’s a phone line where I sit with someone through the messy middle of a breakup, not just the tidy after. It’s over 100,000 people on Social Media who’ve decided they’re done repeating the same patterns, and who show up in my comments telling me things they’ve never said out loud to anyone else.

I won’t tell you what you want to hear. I’ll tell you the truth, sometimes with a joke thrown in because it’s needed, because comfortable lies are exactly what keeps people stuck in the first place. What I’ll give you instead is honesty, and the tools that actually got me and hundreds of people I’ve worked with to the other side of this.

When I’m not doing any of that, I’m being dragged round the park by Max, my scruffy dog, who has never once respected a lead. I’m also a mum … and after everything I’ve lived through and everything I’ve watched other people live through, I still believe the right love is worth the wait. Not because I’m naive about it. Because I know exactly what the wrong kind costs, and I’m done paying it.

If you’re in the thick of it tonight, however that looks for you, you haven’t done anything wrong by struggling. You just haven’t done the work yet. That’s where I come in.

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