If you have ever found yourself engrossed in a rom-com, then you know the story – two people overcoming all odds to be together. The reason is always beautifully simple: They’re head over heels in love. But when the credits roll and reality sets in, we realise that love, though powerful, isn’t always enough to sustain a relationship long-term.

The power of romantic love can be so overwhelming, that it can sometimes blind us to the reality of our relationships. It might lead us to endure harmful situations, and unsatisfying and ultimately leave us feeling unhappy – even if we don’t immediately recognise it. For instance, when we gaze at pictures of our loved ones, our brains release dopamine – a chemical linked with pleasure that gives us a sense of happiness.

The feelings these chemicals stir up can often cloud our judgement, leading us to ignore logical choices such as walking away from a relationship that’s not fulfilling. It’s like being under the influence of a potent love potion, with your brain releasing endorphins that whisper to you, “You’re head over heels in love with this person.” Isn’t it fascinating how powerful these invisible chemical messengers can be?

Even though falling in love feels wonderful (and it’s even beneficial for your health), these feelings alone aren’t enough to sustain a long-lasting, meaningful relationship. Allow me to share some signs that might suggest it’s time to move on:

1. Your basic needs aren’t being met.

We each have our unique list of “must-haves” in a relationship, don’t we? These essentials might be emotional – like the desire for quality time with your other half, and the longing to feel loved and supported. Alternatively, they could be practical – such as expecting them to manage money wisely, care for the kids or make sure bills are settled on time.

When you feel like your partner isn’t meeting one of your crucial needs, it’s essential to voice out your concerns. If they aren’t willing to put in the effort to meet that need, it might just be time for you to consider moving on.

One of the reasons people remain in unhappy relationships stems from societal negative views about being single. It may seem as though if they leave the relationship, they may never find something better. However, this mentality wastes precious time and perpetuates unhappiness. You could be using that time to find someone who will fulfil your needs after all!

2. You are bored

If you and your other half are constantly bored, it might be a sign that your relationship’s hit a bit of a rough patch. Remember how everything was fresh and thrilling at the start? Well, if you’re always bored now, it could mean that things have gone stale and need a bit of spice to get back on track. But don’t forget, being bored isn’t just about not being interested – it could also mean there are needs not being met, maybe you’re not talking enough or perhaps you’re slowly drifting apart.

When you find yourself in this situation, it’s time to shake things up a bit! Try new activities together, have meaningful conversations, or maybe plan a surprise date night. Remember, relationships take effort from both parties to keep the fire burning bright.

Ultimately, addressing boredom head-on can help prevent the relationship from becoming mundane and predictable. So don’t be afraid to inject some excitement and passion back into your partnership.

However, if you’ve both tried to reignite the spark and nothing works, then perhaps it’s time to move on!

3. You’re seeking those needs from others

Who’s the first person you think of sharing your news with when you get that big promotion at work or when an unexpected family crisis hits? In a truly satisfying and healthy relationship, your partner should be the one who springs to mind.

Having reliable friends and work colleagues is wonderful, but if you find yourself always seeking support from a friend or a close “work friend” rather than your partner, it might be an indication that something’s missing in your relationship. If you’re thinking, “I could talk to my partner or I could talk to my work friend who always gives me the emotional validation I need – I’ll choose the friend,” then there’s likely an issue that needs addressing.

If you or your partner begin to seek emotional or physical fulfilment from individuals outside of your relationship, it’s a clear indicator. This might be the moment to contemplate whether this relationship has run its course.

4. You’re scared to ask for more from your partner

If you feel uneasy about discussing your needs and wants with your partner, you’re not alone. It can be tough to voice out what you feel might be lacking in your relationship. But remember, having an open chat is key to nurturing a long-lasting, healthy bond between you two.

You might be thinking, “If I express my feelings, won’t that make me seem needy and emotional?” So instead of voicing your concerns, you hide your true feelings. You carry on with things that don’t satisfy you and pretend to be content because you’re afraid of being seen as a burden.

You know that moment when the straw breaks the camel’s back? When an argument spirals out of control and ends up causing more harm to your relationship than if you had just faced the issue head-on earlier. Keeping your true feelings about how you’re being treated under wraps might seem like it’s saving your relationship, but in reality, it could be prolonging a partnership that isn’t fulfilling you. If confronting your partner feels too daunting, maybe it’s time to seek some support or consider going separate ways.

5. Your friends and family don’t support your relationship

It’s worth considering the views of your close family and friends about your relationship. If you find that no one in your circle supports your relationship, that’s a warning sign. When those who care about you notice that the person you’re enamoured with isn’t bringing joy into your life, it might be wise to heed their advice.

Choosing to ignore the worries of your friends and family could be a clear signal that it’s time to reconsider the relationship. If you find yourself bending the truth with your friends or even deceiving yourself, it’s a red flag. When you distance yourself from those who care about you just to avoid their concerns, chances are they’re onto something – perhaps the relationship isn’t quite right after all.

6. You don’t want to give up on your emotional investment.

Ever noticed how we tend to stick with relationships that we’ve poured our heart, time and effort into? It’s a bit like that financial concept you might have heard of – the “sunk cost effect”. Just as we keep investing money even when it doesn’t seem to be paying off, we do the same with our relationships.

In the realm of relationships and human connections, time doesn’t always equate to success. I’ve noticed that many of the clients that I work with hesitate to walk away from an unhappy relationship, primarily because they’re hoping to eventually see a return on their emotional investment.

Just pouring more time into a relationship with your partner won’t automatically mend the issues. If both of you aren’t ready to put in the effort to meet each other’s needs, then maybe it’s worth questioning if this relationship deserves any more of your precious time.

7. You’ve been investing in your relationship for quite some time.

Naturally, when a couple is madly in love, have spent a good chunk of time together or even started their own little family, they’ve got more reason to iron out any issues. They might even consider trying couples’ counselling if they’re both keen on getting things back to normal. It could be a good shout to give yourself a one-year target and see how it all unfolds.

“Spending too much time dithering can chip away at the base of the relationship until you reach a point where it’s almost impossible to bounce back.”

After giving it a good go for about a year, trying to make things work and meet each other’s needs without much luck, it seems like calling it quits might be the best shout. It’s a tough one, but sometimes you’ve just got to do what’s right.

8. You no longer like your partner.

It might sound a bit bonkers, but you can fancy someone you don’t really like. If that’s your situation, you might manage to scrape by on the daily, but when the going gets tough… well, it’s gonna be properly hard to stick together.

Every couple has their squabbles, right? But those in solid, love-filled relationships always remember that “this is my mate, and we’re gonna weather this storm together.” Honestly, I can’t fathom how you’d manage without actually liking them.

I know, it’s incredibly tough to let go of someone you deeply care about, even when the relationship is causing more harm than good. The trick here is to give your rational mind a chance to speak up, rather than getting swept away by the intoxicating emotions that love often stirs up.