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How can I do No-Contact When There Are Kids Involved?

I felt every single one of the feelings below and it sucks! Typically strong, confident and secure, I felt weak, unwanted & not good enough

No Contact After A Breakup

I get messages every single day asking “How do I go no contact when we have small children together?”

Going “no contact” after a breakup that you did not want, allows you more time to healthily process the loss and grief of your relationship. Ultimately, it can help you mend your heart, accept that the relationship is over, and begin dating again once you’re ready. It’s easy to misunderstand the no-contact rule and think it means vanishing without a trace. But let’s be real, that would be almost impossible, especially when children are part of the picture.

Here’s the deal. If you’re able to stick to a no-contact rule after a breakup, chances are you’ll find yourself moving on from that relationship faster and more smoothly. It might sound tough, but trust me, it works wonders!

This important self-care strategy doesn’t require you to completely fade away or erase your presence. It’s more about providing yourself and your ex some breathing room after the split. This allows you both to process and navigate your emotions at your own speed and in your own way.

Sometimes, the no-contact rule requires a little fine-tuning. Today, we’re discussing one such scenario – when you and your ex-partner have a child together. The heart of the no-contact rule is to prioritise your mental health and heal your heart. So, if there’s a kiddo in the picture, your approach to this rule needs a bit of tweaking because it’s not quite the same as when children aren’t involved.

You know, it’s all about striking the right balance. What truly matters – your child’s happiness and well-being – should never be put at risk. They’re the innocent ones in this situation, and it falls on you as their caregiver to ensure they’re safe and flourishing, even during these challenging times.

As you navigate the path of this breakup, it’s all about giving your all to uplift your child and make them feel safe and loved. It’s about making every effort to let their happiness glow brilliantly. Don’t forget, when they’re happy, that joy radiates back to you too!

Whether you’re a mum or a dad, your child’s needs should ALWAYS take centre stage. I always advocate loving your children more than you dislike your ex. Following that, the ‘no contact rule’ is key. It’s all about striking the perfect balance between what’s ideal for your little one and what fits into your life seamlessly.

There are no exceptions!

The no-contact rule can be a tricky one, right? There may be times when you feel compelled to reach out to your ex-partner, even if it feels like it’s not the best thing for you. In these moments, just remember – you’re doing this for your child. You’re putting their needs first and that’s what matters.

If your ex is an understanding person, they’ll get that your communication is all about the kids. So take a deep breath and know that you’re doing the right thing.

Does the no-contact rule work when there are kids involved?

Let me tell you first-hand that the no-contact rule works just as well to aid you in getting over your heartbreak, when kids are involved, as it does in any other situation.

To make the no-contact rule work (to help you heal fast), you need to have faith in its power and commit to it for as long as it takes. You might already be aware that this approach isn’t for those who easily give up. If you ever find yourself questioning whether it’s working, take a moment to revisit the basics and understand the principles and impacts of this rule.

You may be wondering, “Can the no-contact rule work even when I’m living with my partner and we have kids?” Let me assure you, it can. One way or another, it will. Either you’ll find a renewed opportunity with your ex-partner or someone better will come along. Sounds straightforward, doesn’t it?

I understand that thinking about other possibilities might feel premature at this moment. But let’s just keep that thought in our back pocket for now – as a safety net of sorts. After all, the future is always full of surprises!

Does the no-contact rule work?

Before you fully embrace this guideline, it’s essential to understand one of life’s fundamental truths – the principle of control. As an individual, your influence over someone else’s life or more specifically, how your ex perceives you, is limited. It’s crucial to remember that we can’t control everything and everyone around us.

Please remember that you can only control what is in your power to control – YOURSELF!

Having a child with your partner doesn’t automatically bind you two together. It’s not fair to pressure them into staying just for the child’s sake. If you lean on manipulative strategies, you might risk damaging any remaining goodwill with your ex-partner.

The no-contact rule can work just as well when children are involved, as it does when they’re not. The secret to making it work is directing your attention where it’s most needed. You have a choice here – you could concentrate on your ex-partner, criticising them for not being there for the kids, or you could shift that focus onto yourself and your children.

Opting for the latter choice will bring happiness to everyone involved, yes, even your ex. The outcomes of these two behaviours couldn’t be more different. Aggravating your ex is a terrible plan. They’re already on the verge of bolting for the hills. You certainly don’t want to push them any further away, do you?

How do I talk JUST to my ex about the kids?

Rather than focusing on your past relationship, why not channel that energy into being the best parent you can be? If you need to communicate with your ex, keep it ONLY about the kids and ONLY when it’s truly necessary. Say for instance, if there’s a day when you’re unable to pick up your child from school, approach the conversation with your ex calmly and amicably.

You could approach it like this, “Hey, it looks like I’m going to be stuck at work a bit later today. Would you mind collecting the kids from school at 4 pm?” Keep your message straightforward and considerate. If they agree to help out with the pickup, express your gratitude. Even if he can’t make it work this time, thank them regardless for considering your request.

After the interaction with your ex, it’s time to go no contact again. you ONLY talk to them about your kids.

ALWAYS be the bigger person … Always!

When you’re navigating the no-contact zone with an ex, but you share a child together, it’s crucial to stay anchored to your core values. If something feels off, unethical or manipulative, keep in mind that it’s not a good path to tread on. Take ignoring your ex’s text messages for instance – this could backfire. The moment you display negativity towards them, there’s a high chance they’ll mirror your actions and you could end up in a standoff. It’s always best to lead with kindness and respect for the sake of your children, as they are the ones who suffer when mum and dad are at war.

Cause and effect.

If you don’t uphold high moral standards and values, your ex is likely to mirror your actions. Before you know it, you’re at odds with the very person you’re trying to parent with. If you’re in a no-contact situation involving a child and your ex isn’t receptive to your occasional requests, it’s crucial to keep your cool. This might be one of the most significant factors when adhering to a no-contact rule.

Is no contact when you have children together hard?

Being out of touch with your kids doesn’t have to be as challenging as it often appears. As long as you’re striving to be the best version of yourself, there’s no need to worry. If you genuinely take a moment to understand and reflect on your thoughts and actions, nothing can hinder your goals.

When you start concentrating more on your children, you’ll notice that maintaining no contact becomes a lot easier. It’s almost like it’s not a struggle anymore once you fully commit to your goal of being the best parent you can be.

Yes, it can be tough to stick to the no-contact rule when sharing a living space with your ex-partner and conflicts seem unavoidable. But remember, if disagreements keep popping up between you two, you must put an end to these fights right away.

Disagreements can take a toll on relationships, and during breakups, they can be the most damaging thing you could experience. Getting into a heated exchange with your ex post-breakup? That’s a recipe for disaster. So how do we sidestep this landmine?

It’s all about prevention.

Let’s hit the pause button for a moment and do some soul-searching. Notice those recurring thoughts that seem to ignite arguments? Just by recognising them, you’re already making strides towards sidestepping needless disputes.

Embracing a positive mindset and staying committed to it can truly be a game-changer. It’s one of the most powerful ways to show real growth after a breakup. Once you get the hang of taking that moment to “pause and ponder” before responding, everything else will start to align.

Ever found yourself clinging to impractical hopes about your ex-partner post-breakup, especially when kids are in the picture? It’s crucial to master the art of compromise—even if you’re convinced you’re on the right side of things. This isn’t just about making your ex content, it’s also about finding YOUR happiness. And as we all know, when parents are happy, it creates a nurturing environment for children. Everyone benefits!

But to make this a reality, setting aside ego is key.

How can I get over my ex when we have a child?

Breaking up with someone you care about can be incredibly painful. It’s like a wound that takes time to heal. You may find yourself replaying moments in your head, wondering what went wrong and why they decided to leave. It’s essential to acknowledge that this decision was likely not made lightly by your ex-partner. They must have wrestled with their feelings before coming to this conclusion.

Respecting and accepting their decision is a crucial step in the healing process. It allows you to start moving forward and focusing on your well-being. Although it may be difficult, permitting yourself to let go and begin the healing journey is the first step towards finding peace within yourself. Remember, healing takes time, but each day is a new opportunity for growth and self-discovery as you go through this challenging time.

Navigating through a breakup while also caring for a child can feel like an uphill battle. You’re not only dealing with your own emotions but also focusing on providing the best for your little one amidst all this heartache. But remember, every step you take towards healing is a step towards a brighter future for both of you.

So, you’ve gone from being part of a duo to flying solo. It’s a tricky shift, isn’t it? Now comes the task of piecing your life back together after the storm. You might feel like you’re standing on your head right now, and that’s totally okay. Feeling adrift, puzzled, or even slightly frightened about what lies ahead is natural. But always keep in mind – this journey is one you’re not walking alone, you have your kids next to you.

It’s important to take things one step at a time. Focus on self-care and nurturing yourself back to emotional health. Allow yourself the time and space to grieve the loss of your relationship while also embracing the new chapter ahead.

Get The Support You Need

Surround yourself with supportive friends and family who uplift you during this challenging period. Remember, healing is not a linear process – there will be good days and bad days, moments of strength and moments of vulnerability. Embrace all these emotions as part of your growth journey. As you gradually rebuild your life post-breakup, know that each small step you take is a victory in itself. And always keep in mind that brighter days are ahead – both for yourself and for your child. You have inner strength within you that will guide you towards a future filled with love, happiness, and new beginnings.

By focusing on no contact, you can devote all your attention to your child (the most important one) who needs it most and also give yourself the space needed for healing. and personal growth. It’s important to set boundaries and prioritise your well-being during this time of transition.

By choosing to go “no contact” with your ex, you are creating a healthy environment for yourself and your child to thrive in. Remember, self-care is not selfish; you MUST be the best parent you can be (read that again) Take this time to focus on healing, rediscovering yourself, and building a bright future for you and your child. You deserve peace, happiness, and love in abundance. Stay strong; you’ve got this!

Healing from a breakup, especially when kids are in the picture, is a journey that takes time. It’s not an overnight process. But believe me, every step is worth it! Quick fixes don’t exist here; only a challenging path that’s made slightly less daunting by maintaining no contact. So if you’re longing to move past an ex-partner and want nothing but the best for your child, commit to no contact and stick with it for as long as necessary.

From here on out, things can only improve!

Moving on

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